The Measure of a Geek

So, I lucked out today and my computer exploded. PFPPFPFFFFT!!! I was sending an email about a coworker's going away party, and it all w...

Meghan! circa 1998, our junior year. The badass little person in the background was a drug dealer.

May is Meghan Grandolfo’s Birthday Month. She was born on Monday, May 23, 1977. She was late. Very late. Like, not ever going to come out. W...

Overheard outside my bedroom window just moments ago, accompanied by the sounds of a chase on foot: A woman screams. "AAAAaaaoough!...

neu·ro·psy·chi·a·try n. The medical study of disorders with both neurological and psychiatric features. Well, at least one seems to be....

Where dreams come true.

That's how funny this is: http://www.tremble.com/scribblins/000525.html I've been reading this guy for a long time now, over a year ...

Ok, I've already picked up a few songs. I should be working. I know. The fact that I am even here is a major modern miracle, since last ...

Thank God today is Friday. I need to sleep all weekend. Today is also payday, which means an iTunes shopping spree!!! I'd be interested ...

It turns out I didn't have to buy my own Tulips for Administrative Professionals Day! Someone actually remembered they're my favorit...

Today I was having a Hot Chocolate Lollipop. It was delicious. So delicious, in fact, that I accidentally drooled a little bit on my boob an...

I greatly feared I would not have too much to write about today since I'm beeeeeat. Dee is sleepy ti-ti. I was caffeinated to the nth de...

I must: - tell you about the rack on this woman at the club last night! Great Scott! You have never seen such a splendiferous display of fem...

So, tonight is the first night, believe it or not, that I have been able to spend some quality time in my apartment without collapsing into ...

Last night I was a hero in the apartment. I came home from work late, of course, having consumed a scrumptious evening feast consisting of w...

I went there last night. To Margaritaville. I was carried on golden wings of Cuervo... ..and then my ass was unceremoniously dumped in Broo...

Christopher

Brandon and me.

Andrew

This weekend was full of baby love. Nothing makes me feel more human than hanging out with babies and small children. They're so depende...

First a rhyme written for me by my friend, Dave: My name's Danielle/I like to sing/Don't you like my funky ass ring?/It's gettin...

That's what the label on my beer says. Since 1829 Yuengling Traditional Lager By American's Oldest Brewery. After a tough day which ...

Mmmm...beer.

I try not to talk too much about my job here, since I don't want to get my ass DOOCED , but I have to share this story. We have the CRAZ...

Yumm...I had cake for breakfast AND for lunch today! And if you'll recall from Bill Cosby: Himself, cake is a nutritious, whole meal whi...

EXHIBIT A

EXHIBIT B

Last night I stayed over at Kelly's house since John is currently gallivanting around Iceland for a Bachelor Party wearing a tracksuit, ...

Since The Admiral did such a splendid job answering some frequently asked questions, I thought I would be completely unoriginal and bite his...

I am only about 30% of the way through my Big Move to Brooklyn. The weather was a major deterrent. I would have had 37, maybe 39% of it comp...

...and was feeling 'bout half past dead, y'all, when I met my future roommates last night. That's right! I said it! I'm Broo...

Behold! I am the Queen of Unforeseen Anythings! You may address Us as Queen Danielle, Your Majesty, Your Most Perfectest Biatch, whateves…ju...

The American version of The Office sucks, of course. I'm not even trying to hear "Don't go into it with any expectations of...

When I was a little girl, I spent an inordinate amount of time playing "Barbies." Most of you know this already. And I am not asha...

I'm too tired to write about anything relevant today. I will tell you that I totally crapped out on going to see the elephant parade. Wh...

The hostess with the mostest! And Greg, who thinks my hair is "sexy." Thanks!

Ah, the rosy-cheeked, heavy-lidded gaze of the truly shitcanned.

John and his Schlitz. Brian, thanks for Molly Ringwalding with me!

If you had a burger yesterday and still recognize the need for one today... If every muscle, bone, joint, and tendon in your body is still s...

I am so excited. Tonight is Kelly and John's housewarming party. I've got the Aquavit chilling in the freezer, a cute new t-shirt to...

Almost there!

Coffee is my teat I mean, Coffee is my treat I drink my money

I have never been so fucking scared in all my life, EXCEPT for: This one time? Meghan, Kim, and I were coming back from a night on the town ...

Well, I have to go look at an apartment later, so there is a huge hiccup in my plans for the evening. Additionally, the nabe may be a little...

Tomorrow, as you well know, is St. Patrick's Day here in New York City. It's a crazy day. If you call anybody in NYC tomorrow at any...

We all do it. Except, MFDC admits it. The PMSOTFBITNVFLPMSOTOTOS System Effing hilarious, kids.

1.) To the women who push strollers through crowds like they’re snowplows: Firstly, just because you have a child (is it even YOURS? Really....

"M.A.R.S. Mars, Bitches!"

Last night I hung out with an old friend, Victor. When he called at 10:15 p.m., I was checking email before bed. And yes, that included chec...

Victor - You'll most likely never read this, but I just wanted to say that I'm so proud we're still friends after 15 years. And ...

Currently living and working in the middle.

As I type this, I do not have a title in mind. And I have accidentally inhaled some Formula 409. I am still at work, finishing up a massive ...

Ok, so my current Roommate of the Month is out of town this weekend. Tonight I bought a bottle of wine on the way home from work and am now ...

At least there is this.

I have had a few inquiries as to why my ass was sore, as I stated in my Nor'easter post. This has confirmed two things for me: 1.) Y...

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