Sunday Morning Mini Mental Breakdown

I had a mini mental breakdown this morning. It came out of nowhere. Well, actually, it OBVIOUSLY came from somewhere, but identifying that f...

Thoughts are flying around my dome these days like little pinballs, so I need to just let a couple out to make room for any new would-be obs...

I have been tortured by several things in my lifetime: excruciating back pain, a younger brother, an older brother, a deep yearning for brig...

Hi. Lately I've been getting a lot of flack from you bitches about not updating regularly enough to suit your time-wasting selves! Well,...

Meghan's Birthday South Park Character.

Me and my Dad, grilling kebabs to the soothing sounds of Smooth Jazz. It was his 60th birthday. We got him Flying Lessons!

Please note the smudge of frosting on my upper lip. The smudge that MFDC let me walk around with for at least an hour after that!

We took this picture three times until I was satisfied with the results.

Cupcakes + MFDC = Yummy!!

Damn, it feels good to be a panda.

My cousin is dying of brain cancer. He was an active, vital young man of 40 and then one day he got a headache. Now he is in bed, has lost m...

Last night, while running back to my apartment to get some fabric softener sheets, a woman tried to kill me with her minivan. We had words. ...

I can't think of anyone I've known longer or who deserves this moment more than Miss Gina G and Mr. Oscar B!! I'm so happy for y...

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is MFDC's interpretation of me as a South Park character . Not only is this alm...

Seriously. This is awesome. I suspect when he was putting this together, MFDC despaired of the lack of a mandle footwear option.

Me and my sassy new haircut, a mere day before my world came crashing down on me in the form of a busted iPod. This was taken from the P.O.V...

It had all the ingredients- -Sassy, new haircut? Check. -Good night's sleep? Check. -At work on time? Check. -Busy but not crazed? Check...

My pretty tulips!

Butterballs, a Canadian delicacy. They are served with every meal!!

After this picture was taken, there was a Best Ass competition. I did not win. Then again, I didn't enter, either.

Ah, yes. It's been a while since I've posted. Since you last heard from me, I had a miserable Administrative Professionals Day, I tr...

Happy Administrative Professionals Day to ME! Happy Administrative Professionals Day TO me! Happy Administrative ProFESSionals Day to meeeee...

Someone had to tell me it was Tuesday, because I literally had no effing idea what day it was. I guess I woke up on the dumb side of the bed...

All day I've been writing today's date and thinking, "Hmm...I feel like I should know this." I wondered if it was a friend...

TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY!!! Holy shit! I know, but I felt compelled to share the following with you. A little backstory: I worked laaaaaaaate la...

The following is a list of blogs that were once a glimmer in my eye but never made it onto this here site because I talked myself out of wri...

Lest you think I was overly serious after my last post!

But then again, when DON'T I want a burger, hmm? Finally, the end of a long week. It was long but quick. Does that make any sense? I...

Some of you, unbelievably, have resisted the MySpace Borg. This is a testament to your will. Or, maybe you just haven't been clued into ...

Well, today TwerpsWorld is the big 2! To celebrate, I may or may not have some fucking CAKE!!! MMMMM!!! Last year, I kind of forgot to celeb...

Ever have one of those days where you wake up "bright-eyed and bushy-tailed!" as my great-Grandmother, Violet, used to say! You wa...

I thought the old bloggy-blog could use a bit of an update, since it's almost 2 an all. Blogger hasn't posted new template options s...

Behold, The C.R.A.P. Binder.

Ladies and Gentleman, It. Has. Be. Gun. I wanted to kind of round this out and start it at the beginning of a pay period, but sometimes my h...

One of these kids looks like a Baby Dinosaur.

Dan and I at the Chicago Cubs exhibition game. They lost. I got a Farmer's tan. And a hot dog.

Hello! I'm back from vacation and very bummed about it, but what can I do? Nothing. Because I am a debt-ridden, middle-class administrat...

You know, it's amazing the things you learn to ignore when you live in a city, especially New York. I just walked into the Women's b...

Today I got an email from MoveOn.org: "BREAKING: McDonald's Has New Coffee System! Call your Senators!" Didn't you get tha...

Ok, so I was just checking out New York's weather for the next few days and that is essentially what we're up against: turd and crap...

Most of you know by now that if I'm iTunesing, I'm in New Jersey. Hopefully this plight will soon find its end and I will be able to...

My flowers are the biggest ones in the joint. I'm just saying. :p

This is what I said about Valentine's Day: "Valentine's Buh-lows. That's all I really want to say about it. But I thoug...

Something happens to me when I eat. Throughout all my MANY weightloss quests, whenever I would be researching the best ways to quell my appe...

Right before we ate 90000 pounds of food. He sat down, protected by my older brother's Eagles jacket and a towel.

A few people have reminded me that I need to update my blog. I have many ideas I would like to share with all of you, which is actually a ni...

As I type this, I am doing so with one eye closed. Why, you ask? Well, because my contact grew one of those sharp little thingies on it agai...

Sometimes, when things are going well, you kind of exist in this little perfect bubble. As delicate and transparent as the bubble is, it sti...

Yeah, yeah, yeah...so I jumped on the bandwagon WAY friggin' late, but seriously. Up to this point, I had friends that like, lived near ...

Oh, come on! I HAD to! This one just sums it all up!

Kimberly and friends. I stole this from her friendster page. Heh heh. I have no doubt she'll make me take it down, but I really feel lik...

Today is the Daher's bday. She is officially twenty-something. I would list her age, but she would probably cut me in my sleep, and that...

This damn blog is almost 2 years old. In the nearly 22 months since I've started the thing, and in the 18 months since I turned the ...

What I love about the times when I bitch and moan is how you guys totally indulge me, much like the fat, only child of "late in life...

I have 13 minutes to get this up before I depart work and get on my way to the Muppet's for dinner with her and her Maid of Honor, Taylo...

I have to say, last year's New Year SUCKED. Even as I was living through it I was aware of how sucky it was. It never was particularly f...

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