Confessions

OK. You have probably noticed by now that I have been avoiding this weblog like the plague. Why, you ask? Because I have a deep, deep fear that anything I write will be humorless, pointless, TwerpsWorldless...just very "less" in general. That is Confession #1.

Confession #2 is that I also have a deep fear of posting "before" pictures of myself on this site. I don't know why. All I know is that there used to be more of me and now there is...less. I know I should be proud of what I have accomplished; of all the hard work, etc... It has taken me two years to get to where I am now. Two years and 88 pounds. See? At least I gave you a number...I usually NEVER do that!

I have the perfect "before" picture taken around this time two years ago. It's very scary. And yet, I'm smiling in it. A big smile, too, because I had just lost 18 pounds. I remember thinking I had so much further to go, and I was not wrong. But I can't post that picture here. As proud as I am to have come so far, I would rather leave that Danielle in the past where she belongs. So, if you're curious about "before" pictures, just trust me when I tell you that I'm a completely different person.

Confession #3: My birth control makes me crazy. And weepy. And some have asserted it's also responsible for my new obsession with Puggles. They may not be wrong. Hormonal manipulation is brutal, but I have other girl issues which are corrected by this particular prescription, so I stick with it. Maybe that's too much information, but I'm telling you because I feel like it directly corresponds with the timing of when this blog started going to SHIT.

Confession #4: I'm at WORK right now typing this because I am a loser and have nothing better to do on a Saturday night in New York City than haul myself into Manhattan, go to the gym, shower, and then walk the mile to my office to check my email, get a burger, and blog. HOT.

Confession #5: I have eaten Central Park's Squirrell Population's share of nuts in the past 6 days and I see no signs of that level of consumption being curbed. Again with the nuts!

Confession #6: I think about burgers. A lot.

Confession #7: I miss Kimberly more than I thought I would. Her departure has thrown me into some sort of limbo where I feel like I need to shit or get off the pot regarding my own career and what I want from it, etc... After having been away from work for so long, I came back from my vacation and it finally dawned on me: I'm wasting so much time here in this position. I need to make a move, but I'm unsure of what type and in which direction.

Confession #8: There is a good chance I'll save this as a draft and not post it if it doesn't get funny RIGHT QUICK.

Confession #9: I DO have pictures from L.A. But I took them with a "disposable" "camera" which I had to "drop off" at CVS's "Photo Center" to be "sent out" and "developed." Because I'm old skool, like I said. And also because I do not own a digital camera. I'd like to tell you that this is due to my preference for the organic picture quality of "film" and I could get away with it, having been a "film major," but these are confessions, so the truth is that I just haven't gotten around to getting one. LAME, I know. But I already told you I was at work, right?

Confession #10: I have more things to confess, but 10 in a nice, round number. Maybe the next time I'm feeling pensive you'll get the other ones. But I'll top off this list of confessions with a doozie, because that's just HOW. I. ROLL.

Ok. Phew. All right, here goes...I hope I can get it all out...My iPod...it...broke somewhere over Illinois on my way to Los Angeles. I don't know what happened, but I got the sad-faced Mac icon, and if you're a Mac-user, it's the last thing you want to see EVER. EVER. I don't know what's wrong with it. Several soft-resets didn't help it. When I got back to NJ and my mom's computer, I tried plugging it in and seeing if it would show up in iTunes, but to no avail. And then I accidentally did a restore and now it's been wiped clean. And yet, it still doesn't work.

It will need to be sent away, much like I sent away my laptop when I first got it oh so many years ago and discovered it had a "defective motherboard." Those were some of the toughest days of my life. There I was, basking in the glory of My First New Computer EVER, and I still couldn't use it. I had to continue rocking my trusty, hand-me-down 540c.

I dread sending her away. I dread the diagnosis. But she's still under warranty - BARELY. Coincidentally, earlier in the week I received an electronic mail notice that my warranty was abou to expire, and that I had one more chance to buy AppleCare, the extended warranty. Best $59 I ever spent! Coverage for the next two years and not a minute too soon.

So, yeah. I've been going about my life iPodless for, oh, 16 days now. It's quite a different way to experience the city; being all AWARE and shit...it's forced me to venture outside my fragile Bubble of Existence, which I painstakingly created through the careful construction of Playlists and music purchases. Sigh.

That's what's up with me, y'all. Feel free to confess some shit all up in this piece if you, too, feel so inclined. No judgments! Unless I judge you. Which I might.