This morning, as I was putting on my coat and scarf, I looked up at my hat sitting on my closet shelf and I thought, "Today's probably a good day for The Hat. It's cold. It's rainy and miserable. The Hat matches my coat very well, and so I would look cute. Hmm...well, I don't want Hat Head. Pass on The Hat."
Of course, as soon as I exited the apartment, the wind was whipping around, the rain was too drizzly to fall straight down and was basically swirling along with the wind, and it was effing cold. In short, I shoulda grabbed The Hat.
And then, on my walk to the train, I opted not to grab a coffee, so I just stayed on the side of the street I was already on. There is a different subway entrance on that side of the street, but I still thought, "I'm going to use the entrance I always use, even though it's on the other side of the street, because I need to get a new MTA card, and even though I can get one at THIS entrance, I won't have to walk UP any stairs if I go to my usual one. Of course, having thought that, watch: I'll get to my usual entrance and it will be closed for some reason, or the card reader won't work - which sometimes happens, and then I will have walk back up and out, cross two streets, and fight the weather on my way to the OTHER entrance, where I will have to do all those stairs. But, I'm a lazy-ass, so I'll take my chances."
Aaaaaaaand, of course. The entrance was closed. Broken card reader. OF COURSE! So, I had to fight the weather. As I was standing on the street corner, waiting for the light to change so I could cross and enter the station I should have entered in the first place but, unfortunately, chose not to because I am a lazy-ass, I thought, "Damn. How is it that I always forget how brutal the end of November can be? Hey, ah, ma ma ma! Heeeeeeey aaaaah!!!! Life in a Northern Tooooown...In winter 1963, it felt like the world would freeeeeeze, with John F. Kennedyyyy....Wait...Holy Shit? What day is today? November 22!!!"
Sometimes my brain scares me. OK, most of the time it scares me.
Btw, CJ beat me to it!
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3 comments:
It is well-known that one of the reasons Kennedy left himself open to a rifle-shot assassin was because he took the slower, circuitous route around Dealy Plaza (and in front of the Book Depository) and didn't stay on the main thoroughfare.
So perhaps Danielle avoided a similar fate by not balking at her usual routine in the morning?
Hmm, interesting theory, Reggie. The What Ifs do boggle the mind...
Maybe, in a moment of prescience, I continued on my usual route and missed an errant truck or a meteor!
OR, I'm just really fucking lazy and the Universe was intent on stacking some chips against me this morning!
They've done some improvements to the original Zapruder film...now it's more Zaprudery!
Hats rule!
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