Yeah.

I have always maintained that I possess psychic powers. I just get these "feelings."

Like tonight, for example. I'm working late and I just ate a yummy chicken caesar salad. I only have a few more things to do, including slightly modify this site and attempt to fix the IE anomaly (to no avail, losers!). So, you know, I'm thinking some sugar-free chocolate pudding would be tasty right about now.

I make my way to the kitchen, which is 8 feet from me, and I gather up all the implements I will need to create my tasty treat in Under Five Minutes! Except, someone done made off with our whisk.

Now, who would want to steal our whisk? I understand we're the only account with a whisk, since we gots the puddin', but I don't understand WHY ANYONE WOULD WANT TO STEAL IT!

I'm resourceful. Whisklessness doesn't phase me. I consider a fork but think, no, I'll get puddin' all over my fabulous, white Gap button-down, which is doubly-fabulous since I did not pay for it and it actually looks nice on me. Mustn't let any harm come to it.

Instead, I will use this container that Meghan sent my birthday cupcakes in! The ones that had the Camo-green icing on them! Yes, I will pour the milk into this here container, and then I will pour in the mix and SHAKE IT REALLY HARD.

Pour in milk.
Pour in the mix.
Make sure container is sealed super-tight.

Check, check, check. Shake, shake, shake.

Awesome! No puddin' spillage! Carefully, I remove the lid, which I immediately rinse off. Clean as you go. Then I transfer the agitated yet unset puddin' to a large measuring cup, from whence I will dole out exact portion sizes.

Something happens. I don't know what, but something fucking HAPPENS. Everything's going fine, puddin' makes it into the measuring cup, but then it like, JUMPS ONTO MY FUCKING WHITE BUTTON DOWN WHICH I DID NOT PAY FOR BUT WHICH LOOKS NICE ON ME.

I think, "Dammit! I SO KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN."

Now, as I sit here, blogging it out, waiting for the puddin' to set and for the entire right side of my shirt to dry, I just know deep down in my sugar-free heart...

...the puddin'...'twill not taste as sweet.

:(