Mad Bood

I'm in a mad bood. Sigh. Caffeine has been in my body since 8:03 a.m. and the mad bood has not subsided, so I'm guessing it's gonna hang around a bit. This is most likely due to sleep deprivation and hormones. I can do something about the sleep, but not the fucking hormones, DAMMIT.

Sorry.

Ok. So I have an idea!!! (Three exclamations points = I'm totally faking it)

I have never known so many people with SO MANY NAMES as the TwerpsWorld cast. The funny part, for me personally, is that when I use the many nicknames we all have to address one of you, I try to use appropriate ones. For instance, if I'm trying to get The Muppet's attention, I'll call her either "Muppet" or, "Kelly." Calling her by her real name denotes that I mean business, whether I'm trying to convey something thoughtful or I'm regulating. Most of the time though, I call her Muppie. Because it fits.

I have no problems using multiple nicknames for other people, but I will admit to being a total bitch about warming up to a nickname for most of my life.

My mother NEVER let people shorten my name. Oh, no. She said it was too nice a name to shorten and didn't want people calling me "Danni." So, you know, her alternative was to call me Twerp, which is soooooo much better. And still in FULL EFFECT, btw.

When I was in 7th grade, one day I was bored in my reading class. I was trying to train myself to print with my left hand. That soon bored me as well and once I was done reading all the volumes of Reader's Digest Condensed Books, I was looking for other ways to amuse myself while my classmates were STILL SOUNDING OUT WORDS. So, I decided to shorten my name to Dani. I was REBELLING.

My teacher, Mr. Cunliffe (oh, I'm SO ready for you on this, Admiral) (see? Nickname chosen for effect), was a short, balding, red-bearded man from the UK. He liked me. So, he noticed I was using Dani on the assignments I was turning in and one day, when he called on me to read out loud, he called me Dani. It was like nails down a chalkboard for me. I realized when he said it that I hated it. REBELLION OVER. Back to Danielle, please. I actually corrected him before I started reading.

Hence, I did not have a nickname in High School, though I did take shit for my last name, about which I have heard every friggin' possible joke, so please...don't spam the Comments with "Ms. WRONG!" and "You're always Wright!" I HAVE HEARD IT ALL.

However, when I got to college, it was a new beginning for me. I met the Muppet and she soon started calling me Dee, and it was cute when she said it, so I allowed it to continue. The provison was that it was relegated to Strictly Inner Circle status. It still remains that way, somewhat. Last week, at the DMB concert, Shawn called me Deebo. I said, "Dude. You can't call me Deebo." He asked me why not, and I said, "You're a 'Dee.'" And he said, "You're right, I'm totally a 'Dee.'"

Deebo was shat out by Kristoffer Carter upon my very first interaction with him. I was helpless against it, so I just didn't even bother to fight it. Who can resist a hilarious, blonde, curly-haired afro-sporting skinny dude in a blue button down? Not me! I actually kinda like it. It's grown on me. It's how some of you know me.

My fave friend at work calls me D-Rite and that kinda stuck... A select few others call me Dee here, but in a professional setting I prefer Danielle. Someone here actually calls me Dan, which I don't care enough about to mind. I just find it bizarre, since it's never been shortened to that before. I'll be like, "Hey, Sheila." And she'll be all, "Hi, Dan." Wtf? I don't call her "She!" Anyway.

When all is said and done, I do like my name a lot. I think my mom did a good job! I think I'm totally a Danielle. There's an intern here named Danielle and I look at her and I think, "You're so not a Danielle. What were your parents thinking?"

So, tell me. What's the deal with all YOUR names?