Disclaimer: I'm especially dumb today. And I've only had one iced coffee. I went to Whole Foods for lunch with every intention of stopping at the Bux on the way back to the office, BUT I FORGOT. How could I POSSIBLY FORGET to pick up an iced coffee when I've been tasting it on my tongue for the past two hours, you ask? Well, cherries for one. I decided to treat myself to an uninhibited cherry gorging, and so I wanted to get the best ones. And they are YUMMY. The walk to Whole Foods was nice, too. It was good to get out of the office ( even though I was afraid to bump into my Myspace stalker...more on that in a minute). It was actually cool (ish) out. However, during the ten minutes I was in Whole Foods picking out my cherries (an intricate selection process, make no mistake. I prefer dark cherries as opposed to red or ranier cherries, though they're ALL fucking GREAT) the humidity jumped to a billion percent and all the girls who were actually able to tolerate a hair dryer for 10 minutes this morning ran screaming for air conditioning. Since I was picking out cherries and listening to my iPod, I missed all the hullabaloo. Hence, my hair is now large and in charge. I'm not sure how that relates to how dumb I am today, but it matters, dammit!
I like Myspace.com. I think I've mentioned that before. Friendster has a newer, sleeker interface and their privacy controls are handy, but Myspace is full of so many awesomely crazy people that you just stay for the vibe. Plus, everyone's on it. You might be sitting there saying, "Well, I'm not on Myspace.com!" Yeah, and you probably don't have iTunes, either. Even my little brother is on Myspace (we made a pact to NEVER look at each other's pages). Moving on.
Generally, every day when I post something on this site, I then post it on my Myspace.com blog. Additionally, you can post your mood and what you're listening to/reading/watching... a fun little feature. On the days when I post multiple times on TwerpsWorld, usually only the first one makes it onto Myspace, unless I'm feeling ambitious. TwerpsWorld readers are a little more in the loop regarding my crazy than my Myspace readers. Not that there are many.
Recently I've been toying with "coming out" about this site on Myspace.com. I'm not sure what held me back originally. I think because I like to get all personal with you guys and shit, I figured I just didn't want to let the Myspace crazies know that much about me. Ultimately, I decided not to do it and BOY AM I GLAD I MADE THAT DECISION.
I have a Myspace stalker.
I don't know what to do about it because I'm too nice for my own damn good and I worry about hurting the feelings of people I've never even met.
I won't identify him here in the event those of you who do have profiles on Myspace decide to navigate over there and regulate on my behalf (MUPPET). The story is, a while ago he IM'd me, and in the spirit of Myspace, I accepted his chat invitation. We had a pleasant chat about New Jersey. It was then revealed that he works around the corner from me literally. And now his life's mission is to get me to meet him in public for drinks. I am not down.
I tried to convey this feeling in a very diplomatic way, but perhaps I was too vague. I mean, I was giving riDONKulous excuses about why I couldn't possibly meet him out one day, or the day after that, or the day after that, or any other day EVER. "Monday? No, Monday's no good, I'm donating eggs to a gay couple. And Tuesday I'm having a tooth extracted. Wednesday is physical therapy for the huge hump growing on my back, Thursday is my Habitual Liars Support Group meeting, and I'm bringing the spinach dip, so I have to be there. Friday and Saturday, I pray all day, soo..."
So now, pretty much every time I log on to Myspace, he tries to IM me. And today when I was on my cherry mission, I felt a vague fear that he would see me and recognize me, because I am wearing the same tee-shirt as I am in my Myspace picture. And I fixed my hair about the same. In fact, THAT PICTURE is exactly what I look like today - or, at least, I did until my hair exploded. I put on my big sunglasses and my iPod and tuned out all the people around me. I was going for an unapproachable vibe. Fate was on my side, because he didn't see me, I didn't see HIM, and the cherries were on SALE!
What to do? Today when he tried to IM me, I clicked NO. Usually I just log off, but today I clicked NO. I hope he catches on. I don't want to have to get ROWDY up in that place!
On a lighter note, while some of us are answering questions about schools built on toxic soil, dealing with monster bitch bosses, being overworked, underpaid and stalked, others are doing it up like this: Everything Burns
Cheggit!
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12 comments:
"dealing with monster bitch bosses" - Thanks for the shout out!
And I have iTunes and no My Space!
That's your own fault, my dear. Get your ass on Myspace. ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE!
Dude needs to check himself before he wrecks himself.
I don't really know what that means.
Well, still! HE DOES!
I just went on and he was on and I logged the eff off!
Don't let that punk-ass beotch ruin Myspace! Block his ass!
Oh, and thanks for plugging "Everything Burns." Did I tell you I did played the cymbal swells going into the choruses? Yep. MFDC-Rockstar Cymbalist.
I know what you mean about the check yaself reference! Old skool flava in the house. It's so easy Dee. You are now dating someone. There. No more reason for another excuse. If he is a playa and still wants to see you just SAY NO.
I was going to, but I was agraid of being mean...
NO, you did NOT tell me you rocked the cymbal swells going into the choruses! How do you leave out a detail like that?! An unacceptable omission for which you will pay dearly.
I understand, though, if you're reluctant to tell most people. You don't want to be pigeon-holed. Pretty soon all these artists would be calling you up, "MFDC, I'd be honored if you'd rock the cymbals swells on my next record." And then you'd be all, "Listen up, fucker! Just let me record your shit, and THEN we'll talk cymbal swells!"
Word. Yes, the spin. Got it.
Are we blind or something? Why the HUGE font?
I was told about this by Meghan, as well.
If you're being naughty and viewing this site in anything other than Safari or Mozilla Firefox (read: IE), then it will apear large. I do not know why.
I'll try to fix it though.
At least you get stalkers on MySpace... all I get are invitations to gigs where the beer is more expensive than gas. Actually, that's not bad, except the beer usually tastes like gas.
MFDC actually played those cymbal swells with his organ. If you know what I mean. I think I'm gonna stalk HIM.
CJ - Having been responsible for cymbal swells in High School Marching Band during such American Classics as "Appalachian Spring" and "Rhapsody in Blue," I have to say I'm somewhat doubtful that even Motherfucking Dan Certa could pull off a cymbal swell using only his man parts... actually, now that I think about it, you're probably right. That's some motherfucking talent!
As for the stalking, take a number, dude.
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