WTF? Fridays, Volume X

Convo with my mom:

Me: How come the humidity is only 94% if it's raining? Shouldn't it be 100%?

Mom: No. Not necessarily.

I know she has no effing idea WTF she's talking about it, but she said it with such authority, I accepted it.

Right now, as I type this, I'm sipping an iced coffee, homemade by me. It's almost painful and I'll tell you why in a minute. I am also wearing pants, something I try to avoid at all times when I am not in the office. I'm wearing a long-sleeve tee-shirt and a BLANKET WRAPPED AROUND MY SHOULDERS.

It's SIXTY-FOUR DEGREES, RAINY, AND WINDY!! And it's July 8th! WTF???

The retention ponds in my mom's development are rising quite high. We're supposed to get a half inch of rain, but I think we're going to beat that.

I realize I spend a lot of time bitching about the weather, but it's my website, so EAT IT!!!

Hmm...trying to think of a few more WTF? moments. Kinda coming up blank. I've already bitched about the terrible drivers in my home town and how I have to drive everywhere to do the littlest thing.

I can't bitch about the disgustingly horrifying ad-heavy coverage of Live 8 since MTV and VH1 are re-airing 10 hours of performances this Saturday. Of course, there will be commercials, but the performances will be uninterrupted. That's just for you, CJ!!! (Even though I don't think you're aware of this site. ;p)

I certainly can't bitch about the fact that my mom's best friend told me I looked 17 yesterday when she saw me for the first time in a while. Heh heh heh. I've stolen her from my mom.

I could WTF? an incident with a family member, but due to it's overwhelmingly embarassing nature, I'll just leave it off. But it's funny as hell. Also, a bit traumatizing for me, so perhaps it's best that I just continue to allow the denial trolls in my mind to tunnel deep into my subconsciousness and bury that shit under a bag of lime and 4 feet of concrete.

I could WTF? The Rockdoglette's leisurely pace, but she's just a a sweet, unborn child and is already forgiven for keeping us on the edges of our seats!

OH! Ok, so, yesterday, mom's all: "Come on, Twerp, let's go do some running around." I was all, "Ok, where do we have to go?"

"Well, we have to go to Verchio's (the produce stand across the street) for Christina's vegetables. Then we have to go to Sam's (the bulk product version of the Wal-Mart stores) for lettuce, then we have to go to Duffield's (a farm about 7 miles away) for the green beans."


"Wait a minute. Let me get this straight: We're going to THREE DIFFERENT STORES for vegetables?"

WTF??

"Well, Verchio's is the cheapest for what we need. And at Sam's I can get those big bags of pre-made salad for cheap. And I like the green beans at Duffield's. They're the best."

"Mom. Gas is $2.19 a gallon. With all that running around, you'll get close to spending what you're trying to save on gas! If I give you $5, we'll net out, and then can we go to just one store?"

"LET'S GO, TWERP."

UH-OH, just got word...we have to post-pone the grad party due to weather!

I'm secretly relieved. Heh heh heh ...