Of course, when I saw this, I was filled with heretofore never experienced, unparalleled LUST.

Could that thing be any fucking sexier? No, seriously. SERIOUSLY.

Upon first glance. I wanted it. I WANTED IT.

I mean, look at it. Tiny, slim, colorful, inexpensive (relatively)...now I understand the allure of The Olsen Twins.

It comes in a sleek, Corleone black, in addition to Pure As Newly Driven Snow White. It has replaced the buggy minis, which have been pulled from the shelves for the rest of eternity. I'm sort of grateful for that. It's hard for me to walk amongst mini-owners and not be...I don't know...I think judgemental is the word I'm looking for here.

Don't get me wrong, walking amongst thousands of pedestrians every day, I do feel a kinship with those I see sporting the tell-tale (crappy) factory-issue iPod earphones. But if, by chance, I happen to catch them whipping out a mini, I'm invariably disappointed. And smug. Hey, I'm only human.

I'm also obsessed -still- with my own iPod, but many moons ago my brother, BabySteve, asked me to stop writing so much "iPod sex." I took a gander at my archives and agreed that he might have a point. Writing so enthusiastically about inanimate objects with which once is obsessed is, you know, cute - the first few times. However, after a while, I could see how that kind of fervor could be interpreted as a bit deviant, so...I stopped.

Yeah. The Nano. That's some hot shit. But hot shit that can only hold a thousand songs. I know. "Only." But, c'mon. I like knowing I can carry my entire record collection with me at all times. It makes me feel safe and distracts me from the shitastictude of my every day life. I like the variety and versatility of a billion gigs of music. Even though I listen to the same twenty songs over and over again. Usually.

And I know you're all "Flash Memory, blah blah blah." Whateves. You know what? Yeah, my babygirl's got a few scratches, a few nicks. A HARD DRIVE. She's been dropped a few times, but she's sturdy. She might be bigger than the Nano, but she's got more to her than a slim figure and a pretty face. I like the weight of her in my palm. I'm used to it. When I hold minis, they feel fake or fragile. When I hold my babygirl, she feels real.

She's me, so I'll keep her around, happily. Just as long as she doesn't give me any more heart attacks.

And besides, I'm waiting for the iPod Micro...you know, the one they'll be able to insert into the gray, spongey stuff between my ears.