I'm not talking about being too "bootylicious" or being ready for any type of jarred, fruited condiments, I'm talking about LYING ABOUT MY AGE.
Reports have recently surfaced that Beyonce Knowles is actually 32 and not 25, like she claims. To me, she has always just looked like Beyonce, neither old nor young. BUT, if she really IS 32 and pulling off 25, then DAMN, GIRL! Work. that. shit. And teach me how while you're at it.
Of course, I don't have 647 $10,000 wigs at my disposal, and my mom is not currently designing crazy fashions and trying to capitalize on my fame by foisting said designs on the public at large, but I have nice eyebrows (when they've been recently threaded) and my mom IS crazy, so, you know... I think I can pull it off, despite the fact that my hair is falling out in clumps. Babies are bald, and they look REALLY young!
Next Thursday I celebrate the first anniversary of my 29th birthday. Honestly, it kept slipping my mind until people brought it up (KIMBERLY) (DAD) (MOM) (MEGHAN). I mean, I was thinking about it. How could I not? Every time I look in the mirror my skin looks less vibrant, probably struggling under the weight of all the eye make-up stuck in the creases under my eyes.
More and more I'm finding myself faced with what I'm not and never will be. I was never the head-turner, never the one with the nice ass or the killer legs or the amazing hair. I was never the girl every boy lusted after. I was never a 10. I was the funny girl, the buddy girl, the fat girl...
And now, as I head into a whole new decade, I think it's about time I stopped fucking mourning the things I never was and started embracing the things that I am. Wish me luck with that.
I'm still going to lie about my age!
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1 comments:
OK, so I'll help:
You are fly, girl - and not like J Lo was. You are really fly!
You do have nice eyebrows. And nice eyes. Very nicely shaped eyes. And eyebrows.
You have great breasts! Everyone thinks so!
You are hilarious. Don't try to down play that.
And although, your bum may not be bubbled, it is nice!
You are also fun to share lunch with. And dinner and drinks.
You are a nice friend. A nice roommate. A nice person.
You are also beautiful. Classic beautiful. Not Christina Agulara Beautiful - that's a song. And she's trashy. You, are not trashy.
You rock! No matter what day of the week it is or what time of the day it is. You ROCK!
Happy Early Birfday DEE!!!
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