Did This Really Just Happen? No, Really?

This happened on Saturday, but I think I have only just now wrapped my mind around it.

Saturday morning my mom and I made up after the whole You Left Me Stranded At The Train Station For 2 Hours fiasco, and were playing catch up on each other's lives, since I had been busy the few days before that. When I told her I got a raise, she was happy for me, but she didn't react the way she normally would in light of such news. It registered on my radar as a blip, but then I ignored it.

Later in the convo I was telling her about my night out with Kimberly earlier in the week and she started laughing. She then confessed that she HAD READ MY BLOG LAST WEEK AND ALREADY KNEW ABOUT MY RAISE. The amount of verbiage that then spilled forth from my mother's mouth was rivaled only by the Exxon/Valdez oil spill. It was all I could do to keep up with her while still reeling from the revelation that MY MOTHER READS MY BLOG.

Not that I care, you know. I personally don't feel like there's anything terribly offensive outside of the fact that I overuse "Fuck" as a verbal crutch on a regular basis. But still. This is my private world. This is TwerpsWorld. Yes, it's open to the World Wide Web, but the agreement between my mom and I when I told her about my blog was that she would NEVER SEARCH IT OUT without my EXPRESS PERMISSION. And that if I felt there was something she would particularly enjoy, I would email the post to her.

Here I will paraphrase her stunning revelations:

1.) She thinks I'm "really funny, Twerp." She seemed almost surprised by it, in fact. I think this is because much of the writing I always shared with her was serious or sensitive; the kind of stuff the RockDog truly enjoys.

2.) She thinks I should write comedy. She was very excited to reveal this to me. Comedies are her favorite. Ask BabySteve. When you ask my mom if she wants to see a movie, her response will ALWAYS be, "Are there any good comedies out right now?" So, for her to imagine me as a comedy writer is akin to me spontaneously reproducing a grandchild for her, on the spot.

3.) She knows I am meeting my mentor from my years in Los Angeles next week when he is in town; that I will be talking to him about potentially pursuing writing as a career and asking his advice on my next steps. She seems to think this will involve me having to move back to Los Angeles. She says it's what I'll need to do to truly succeed and that it's what I SHOULD do. If you don't know too much about my history, especially my history with my mother, this isn't as shocking to you as it probably is to those who DO know. We should give them a minute to regain consciousness.

4.) She punctuated this entirely shocking conversation with, "AND I HAVE A GREAT IDEA FOR A SCREENPLAY! IT'S CALLED, 'BLOG.'"

TRUE FACT.