Yes, Yes I Know.

First, a supremely dorktastic picture of moi, for those of you who miss me.



HELLO.

It's been a while and for that I truly apologize. Many of you have sent me gentle inquiries as to my well-being in my new city through various means of communication. Others have simply sent me some hilariously rude emails, like this excerpt from the Muppet:

"Are you alive?? Is your luggage there? Do you have a home? What is happening?? No call, no write, no blog. This is some B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T."

Actually, that is her email in its entirety, and she is not wrong. This IS some bullshit! But! I will update you on my recent goings-on (except for the dirty parts, heh heh).

1.) I landed. Sans luggage. You already knew this.

2.) Waited TWO WHOLE EFFIN DAYS to be able to wear make-up and feel pretty. It's not fun to meet up with your special friend after an extended absence and then have two ugly days back to back. It undermined my confidence.

3.) Ate at pretty much every restaurant I've been craving since 2000. A short list, for those of you who are local and are not Meghan Grandolfo, who already has been briefed on the food I've been eating:

• In & Out Burger
• Mo's (2x)
• Hugo's (3x for breakfast because MFDC luuuuurvs the granola there. Don't tell him I told you that!)
• McDonald's (1x and it was a yogurt while I watched MFDC carefully and with much joy consume his beloved #4 plain with no cheese)
• Doughboy's
• Poquito Mas
• Frontier Wok (2x)
• Market City
• Daily Grill
• Bob's Big Boy
  

4.) MFDC dragged my lazy ass to the gym. And thank God he did, after all that food!

5.) Saw Talladega Nights with Meghan and MFDC and, oh, Baby Jesus, it's FUNNY AS HECK.

6.) Um... OOH! I went to Target. Twice!

7.) After much pain akin to a thousand tiny needles tipped with chili powder to the eye, I BOUGHT A CAR. Yes. I did. And? I have to take it back tonight for a slight BUCKING problem, but, you know. I'm optimistic. It's cute, it's sporty, it's a 2003 Ford Focus ZX5 with about 18k miles and it very obviously used to belong to a smoker, which is why it just seemed very appropriate that I christen the vehicle "Doris." I wonder if the bucking problem is an indication that it has emphysema? Hmm.

I dealt with CARMAX and I have to say that actually going to the location and dealing with Benny, my salesman/mexican jumping bean, was actually a very pleasant experience. I also need to give a shout out to Laurie at AT&T. I don't know your last name, but you are my BFF for LIFE.

Benny. He was funny. He pretty much forgot some important detail or another every step of the way, and had us sit in no less than 7 offices, but he finally managed to pull off the sale and talk me into a ridiculously long warranty plan, which, in light of all the BUCKING, I'm glad I bought!

And, of course, I have to give a major shout-out to my special friend, MFDC, who has been very calm and supportive whenever I reached a point in my ongoing transition where I threatened to rev up to a full-on freak-out.

I'm going to be honest and tell you all that, in my first few days, I was very scared and lost-feeling. Kind of like a fish out of water. I couldn't even begin to imagine how I'd be able to find the energy to give this thing a real go, Deebo-style, especially with missing everybody so much. I had just been so focused on GETTING here, that I left everything after that one task up to Fate.

I was so low-energy when I got here; just crashing after weeks of non-stop busy. And then there was the luggage drama and the car drama... But I can tell you that it's a very humbing, awesome experience when you need to latch onto something and, instead of attempting to anchor yourself to a city or professional ambition, you find yourself holding onto the person you love and they show no signs of letting go and running for the hills. Because they're dumb. Heh heh. Kidding. That feeling instills faith that everything WILL fall into place. Makes for a pretty wide safety net.

I <3 you, MFDC. Even though you won't snack with me. WTF.

Behold, y'all, Deebo's new chariot, DORIS.