Happy Valentine's Day and Welcome Back to ME!

So, HI!

Sorry about the false start last time. I just wasn't in the right place, I guess. I had a crappy job and it was eating my soul, etc… The good news is that in the past, oh, like, TWO YEARS a lot has transpired. I switched jobs (same place, different job and boss, THANK JEEBUS) and I also became a mom with the birth of my son, Leo, who entered this world mewling like a goat and weighing in at a staggering 10 pounds even after I attempted to birth him two different ways. Thankfully, the second way (c-section) worked! I have a lot of thoughts on all of that – my pregnancy, my OB care, my birth experience, but that is not what this post is about. Today this post is about Valentine's Day and my boys.

I have been bouncing around the idea of writing again for a while now. My mom has been encouraging it and now I actually feel like I have some stories to tell. But whenever I come home from work, I just want to hang out with my boys, and my weekends are busy with as much Leo time as I can possibly squeeze in and laundry. LOTS AND LOTS OF LAUNDRY. Every time I thought about the time it would take to restart this blog and to keep up with it, it seemed to me like the amount of time I would have to invest was selfish. But I do need a few minutes to myself every day, and I think a lot of what I think about (see reference to the real estate in my brain) other people are thinking about, too, and perhaps we can help each other retire these thoughts, or at least move them into their next phase of cycling by relating to each other on a certain level. OMG, I just totally made this all about me again and I didn't even mean to!

How is your Valentine's Day so far? This morning I woke up to a cute little Valentine's Day text from my boys.



As we were gearing up for the morning routine, Dan went into his closet and pulled out pretty much the best Valentine card I have ever received. It's homemade and signed by Leo in oatmeal. I brought it to work and laminated it to preserve the oatmeal signature forever. I had already told Dan I didn't have anything for him yet, but that I would think of something. And so I thought and I thought. I could just write him a letter about our love and how awesome it is. He would like that. I did something similar for Father's Day. And then I thought, what a perfect reason to finally resurrect TwerpsWorld.

I have dusted her off, and still have a few layout modifications to make, but here she is. I pulled her out of a dark corner so I can start writing again. And I'm going to start the REAL writing by including this open letter to my husband:

Never in a million years could I have predicted how TRULY amazing you are as a father. I knew you'd be good, but I had NO idea you'd be so incredible. How could I? We had yet to move through the first few tough phases of new parenthood together.

Every time we make it through a particularly challenging time and the dust settles, I love you more than I did the day before. Every time you send me pictures of my smiling baby during my workday or, better yet, hilarious videos of him which I share with my co-workers, I love you more. Leo is a happy, thriving, precocious, curious little baby boy and so much of the credit goes to you. You guys are a team and you figure it out together every day. I'll admit to being jealous of your bond, but I'm also so thankful for it. There is nothing else like it in our lives and it's so beautiful to see.

You once said it would be nice if you could find something "outside" that you could kick ass at every day and I'm telling you, you HAVE something that you kick ass at every day! And that's being a daddy! You are a full time father on top of being a freelance audio professional extraordinaire. I have seen sides of you develop in the past 8 months that I wouldn't have predicted because I just didn't know. I didn't know it was possible to love our baby as much as we do. I didn't know it was possible to love YOU as much as I do. And I didn't know that I would love watching you father our son as much as I do because I didn't just didn't know it was possible to change so much practically overnight! You had to hit the ground running as a father and you did, mandles tearing up the pavement!

I suppose I'm so in awe of your transition because it seems like just yesterday you were "just" my loving husband, and just a few days before that you were "just" my fiance or my boyfriend. But now you're my baby's father and I couldn't feel more proud of you than I do for what you have accomplished so far – what WE have accomplished together. Being a father is one of the two most important jobs on the planet, and you're kicking ASS at it. Our son is so lucky to have you for a father and I am so lucky that I get to see the joy you find in each other every day.

I love you and I love the family we have started. I love our life together.

Happy Valentine's Day to my boys, the loves of my life.