Holy God, Someone's Marrying The Muppet!

All day I have been putting off this post because I have been feeling decidedly unfunny lately, and I was feeling the pressure to make this a spectacular, super-shiny, kick-ass post. This morning on the way to work I was trying to come up with jokes, but all I managed to do was hold on to my iced coffee (achievement #1) and be 52 minutes late to work (achievement #2). I think the unfunnyness is due to the fact that, for three days in a row now, I have had only ONE ICED COFFEE PER DAY. As soon as my brain adjusts to this lower dosage of crack, I should hopefully approach Normal Danielle levels of funny. Please be patient with me.

Luckily, I had a little epiphany regarding this post and the lack of funny...this post doesn't have to be funny! This post can be all "YAY!" and "Awww!" and "Ooooh! BIG!" but it doesn't have to be funny. It's going to be all emotional and shit. So here we go.

The Muppet is BETROTHED!!! Spesh asked her to marry him last night over dinner and cocktails and the Muppet humbly acquiesced. Of course, she may have a different story to tell, if she ever blogs again.

I speak for all her friends, who were in attendance at The Bubble Lounge in Tribeca last night for a celebratory toast, when I say that we are all so ecstatically happy for her.

I have spent many hours in the presence of The Muppet and Spesh, and I can say that they truly do compliment each other in so many ways. The Muppet, and I love her dearly, was an effing basketcase before Spesh came into her life. These days, she's only basketcasey on very rare occasions...like when she's really hungry. Or renting a car.

Kimberly put me on the spot last night and told me to make the toast to the newly-affianced couple. I've never yearned for an iced coffee more than I did in that moment. However, I collected myself and said something very similar to what I just wrote about the basketcasiness, spending lots of enjoyable family time with them, how awesome a couple they are and how much we love them. And then there came this big lump of goop in my throat that I recognized had the potential to be actual tears, so I wound it up fast, we all clinked glasses, and the party started!

We then proceeded to take some of the most dorktastic photos ever known to man. Could The Muppet ever smile normally? Could I look any more like a dorky bird? I don't know. All I know is that in every single photo, all those smiles are real!

After the dorktastic photos, we headed off to Papaya King, where Spesh talked me into a chilli dog though, admittedly, it did not take much convincing!

So that's what we did last night! The Muppet got engaged, we drank champagne, I almost cried but tamped it down, we drank more champagne, and then we got chilli dogs!

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE MUPPET AND SPESH!!!

You deserve all the happiness in the world and I love you.