I Have Reached My Nut Threshold

There once was a time when I thought I would be able to consume nuts until the end of time, much like my long-held belief that I would never tire of corn mixed with mashed potatoes. I was convinced when I was younger that, given no other alternative, I could happily ingest corn mixed with mashed potatoes as my sole source of sustenance. This hypothesis was eventually proved false. (See also: Pancakes, 1986 - 1988)

Nuts have been such an integral staple in my quest to become a healthy individual. Just a few short weeks ago, the thought of a tasty, potassium-rich banana followed by some lightly-salted fancy cashews would nearly cause an embarrassing episode revolving around drool landing on my boobs. But now, sadly...I feel nothing at the thought of a banana and cashews. How is this possible?

I don't know what I am going to do. Without nuts, my salty/crunchy cravings will remain unanswered, eventually expanding ruthlessly from a tiny idea to a painful, demanding ache. What then? Coffee won't satisfy that! When was the last time you heard of a coffee flavor that tasted like french fries? See? I'M SCREWED!!!

I think nuts and I just need some time off from each other. We're going on a break. I will attempt to find other, friendlier food choices. And maybe one day, when we least expect it, I'll encounter some cashews, drool on my boob, and we'll know that we were Meant To Be.