If You Were A Fly On Our Wall

While choosing music for the wedding playlists:

Him: This?

Me: No

Him: This?

Me: No

Him: This?

Me: No
...

Me: This?

Him: Um... gee... uhhh... nah.

Me: Fine, this?

Him: I've never heard of this song.

Me: HOW HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD "IT TAKES TWO" BY ROB BASE?!

Him: I'm from Indiana, Baby.
...

While exercising at home to the 80s cable music station, one of the necessary things I am doing these days to avoid major reconstructive surgery on my gorgeous Wedding Dress, which glows as though it were made by fairies...

Me: What... what is that you're doing?

Him: Dancing! Unh! Unh! Unh!

Me: You dance like... like someone animated Stephen Hawking!
...

While doing high knee kick warm-ups with my ever-supportive husband-to-be:

Him: C'mon! Higher! Grab Sarah Palin's head and just UUURRRNH! Right in her face!

Me: UUURRRNH! UUURRRNH! UUURRRNH!
...

Him, turning into Richard Simmons by the day, minus all the gay: Come on! Get those knees higher, let's go!

Me: I know! But I had a long day! I'm tired. I had a dentist appointment and-

Him: The Dress doesn't care! The Dress doesn't care!

Me: Oh God! You're right! UUURRRNH!