Almost Paradise

Now that I've got that wretched song in your head for the rest of the day, I would just like to provide a little slice of my life, so you can see what I see and feel what I feel.

Right now I am in Kelly and John's apartment and I am drinking my second glass of chardonnay out of a super cute wine glass. Ok, it's my third glass. OK, IT'S MY FOURTH and that's the truth!

There is a candle burning to my left and to my right is a torchiere casting a warm, amber glow into the room. Previously, I was relaxing in a comfy chaise, but right now I am sitting in an ergonomically correct chair from DWR. Actually, everything in this apartment is from DWR. And it's all glorious. The bed, the chair, the chaise, the desk, the table and chairs...lovely lovely lovely.

The alarm clock is weird, as I said, but the shower has excellent pressure and the temperature is consistent, a rarity in many NYC apartments.

But the best part, the very, very best part of all of this is not the elevator which raises me to the 11th floor with the greatest of ease, but rather the Apple G4 powerbook upon which I am typing this completely mundane post. You see, I can't stay away from this thing. I have to touch it. I have to play on it. And unfortunately, my unbridled lust comes at the expense of you all who have to sit through this pointless post. But it's all worth it to me just to be able to fondle this thing for a little while. I'm sure you won't mind helping a sister out.

Right now is almost perfect. What would make it perfect isn't tearing into the King Size Snickers Marissa and her dude left for John as a present, nor would it be some imaginary dude rubbing the tension out of my shoulders after handing me my fifth glass of wine. No, what would make this moment absolutely perfect would be if I were typing thing on a Mac mini with a 1.25 or 1.42GHz G4 processor, 40 or 80GB hard drive, a slot-loading CD-R/DVD-ROM optical drive, 256MB DDR SDRAM and ATI Radeon 9200 graphics chip with 32MB dedicated DDR SDRAM.

I don't know what any of that means (ok, I know what some of it means...thanks to The Porn), but what I do know is THAT IS HOT. All that stuff that GB, MB, SDRAM, Raedon optical blah dee blah dee blah? That's some DRRRRTY talk! THAT is porn. And folks, I would know.

Now, you'll have to excuse me while I go make out with my iPod, which was recently stuffed full of some Prince.