PTO

That's for Personal Time Off. It's my company's abbreviation for "We're too cheap to give you vacation, sick AND personal days, so we're just gonna lump it all together, call it PTO and laugh maniacally when it's June and you have none left."

Tomorrow I will take my first PTO day of the year. Not for rest or relaxation. Not even for a doctor's appointment. No, I just have countless errands to run and I figured I would just take the day. I am mentally searching my brain for a decent enough lie. I might just call up and say, "I have a few things I need to take care of. Later, peeps!"

So, one last blog on the Lovely Laptop here. I was supposed to use this week in someone else's apartment to get a little perspective and come up with a life plan. Instead, I ended up watching a movie marathon that started with Moll Flanders and was then proceeded by Party Girl, Shawshank Redemption (Yay! Fell asleep on chaise for 30 minutes and woke right as Andy was telling Red about the rock that has no business being there), Top Gun, and Lost in Translation. I feel like I'm missing one and it's pathetic that I can't remember what it was. Anyway, I had forgotten how much I enjoy the volleyball scene in Top Gun. I should make a point of watching it once a week.

In addition to the movie gluttony, there was tuna pasta salad gluttony, interspersed with "What the hell am I doing with my life," panic attacks. And there was a healthy portion of homespun denial and delusion. Also a long conversation with Shawn, who is at a very similar point in his life.

The best I could come up with this weekend is just a long list of cliches which will sound trite as I recall them here, but which also absolutely apply.

1.) It is what it is.
2.) This is a starting off point.
3.) Don't waste time looking back, instead look forward.
4.) It will work out, it always does.
5.) Life really is like a box of chocolates (kidding)

and the list goes on. I feel good though. I don't necessarily feel like I need to have the rest of my life planned out. I don't think that would be a good idea, anyway. What I do have if the knowledge that I will rise up from this place in my life stronger than ever; that I am bound and determined to seek out situations where I know I can achieve my full potential, whatever that means; that life is full of twists and turns and if I dwell too long on wrong turns and mistakes I only end up selling myself short.

The fact of the matter is that I know who I am and I know that I am capable of great things. And all I need to do everyday is just remind myself of that. I have a feeling I'll get closer to who I want to be. At least, I hope I will. No, no...I know I will. And I'll keep you guys updated!

So, sorry for all the serious, self-absorbed posts this week. It was that time of year, I guess! Now that everyone has given up on their New Year's resultions, I'll start working on mine! But first, a day of PTO, wherein bank errands, laundry, grocery shopping and hopefully meeting up with Culby for drinks will come to pass.