Well, I have completed two days of my More Coffee resolution. As if blessing my endeavor, the internet sent me an awesome article about how COFFEE EFFIN RULES.
http://www.ediets.com/news/article.cfm?cmi=1408896&cid=7
I know I said I would go back to two ICED coffees, but the thing is...I can't seem to bring myself to order the second one. The peeps there know me. They know I tried to cut back. And if I go in there all, "TWO iced coffees, please," I'll see the look of disappointment cloud over their faces and I'll feel like a total fuckin' failure. I don't need that in my life. It's bad enough I have to live in a world where Maria Menounos is on her way to superstardom. Gimme an Amen, Muppet.
What I now do is, of course, buy the one iced coffee, as prescribed. I have gotten into the habit of consuming it the way Normal People do so, while it doesn't last me the entire commute to work (about 25 minutes...COME ON, do you REALLY expect ME of all people to stretch an iced coffee TWENTY MINUTES?), it does get me to Union Square, where I switch to the Q and go one stop to work.
About two hours after I get to work, I brew some of the yummy coffee we have laying around. Supporting the entire coffee line has come in REAL handy for me. Today I brewed Seattle's Best Coffee's "Javanilla." I highly recommend it, despite my deep loathing for things vanilla-scented or flavored.
The problem is, the smallest pot I can brew at work is a half gallon. So, I brew a half gallon of coffee, drink a cup, offer it to those within earshot, and then I let it sit for about an hour before I turn off the warmer. It seems like such a waste, I know. I thought about freezing it, but when I went to check the freezer to see if the shelves would accommodate the pitcher I was going to use, I found 7,000 bottles of Coors Light instead.
Oh, riiiiight...New CEO, afternoon reception...FREE SNACKS.
Of course, I was there before it got too crowded. Fruits, veggies, cheeses, crackers, nuts, berries, dips, antipasto, bevvies...Yummmm...I piled my plate high with some of all that (except the crackas!) and as I was waiting to get to a veggie tray, I encountered Martin the Mailroom Guy.
"Girl, what're you doing eating all that with all that weight you lost?"
"What?" I asked innocently. There was nothing bad on my plate! Ok, two slices of pepperoni. ONLY TWO. And some veggie dip. BUT BARELY A TABLESPOON! I swear. "This is all fine."
"You sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
"Ok, because you look good. Don't...you know..."
"Yeah...I know. Thanks."
"I was just telling somebody about you. And the sugar."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, you know I'm not married, right?"
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"It was the best of brews, it was the worst of brews, it was the age of lattes, it was the age of cappucinos, it was the epoch of non-dairy creamer, it was the epoch of half and half, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Regular, it was the spring of Mocha, it was the winter of Dark Voodoo Rainforest Blend, we had a full pot before us, we had nothing before us..."
You'll probably be seething with jealousy to know that my office has one of those super-wasteful coffee makers that makes individual cups of perfectly-sluiced coffee, so that there is never a pot on the warmer, and you can choose Creamy French Vanilla one moment, and Dark African Blend the next.
Admit it. You're seething.
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