I Can Be A Whiny Little Bitch Here

What I love about the times when I bitch and moan is how you guys totally indulge me, much like the fat, only child of "late in life" parents. It's awesome. Especially how you somehow manage to make pointed remarks about my personal life. Though, when I think about it, not too much of it is personal on this site!

That may be perhaps where I am getting caught up. Reggie says that I should forget about the potential audience, and I think it's perhaps the root of my problem.

My frequency in posting, especially when I started really rolling on this thing, had a lot to do with making sure I had something FUNNY and GOOD posted before a certain person in a different timezone emerged from blissful slumber and logged on to the interweb; a certain person who then would, invariably, comment. Which would be like, the highlight of my day, as you can imagine. I mean, if you've ever stalked somebody, that is. And who hasn't?

So yeah, I think a lot of my momentum was based on that and fueled by crush hormones, that crack-like substance your brain starts oozing when you encounter someone on the interweb with a dead-sexy ass. I mean, beard. No, no, I do mean ass. Or beard. Again, I'm sure you've had similar experiences.

And so now, many moons later, he's bound and gagged in my basement and what with all sponge baths and vicodin I'm having to administer to keep him relatively healthy and compliant, I'm no longer feeling an overwhelming need to flirt via my funny on the interweb. How terrible and fucked up is that? Seriously. My blog's like Britney Spears after she married K.Fed. I've just let it go.

I'm not worried, though. Once I've settled into this new phase of my life (unlawful captivity, I think it's called. Or no, wait...kidnapping? I better check...), I'm sure I'll find my way back into your loyal hearts. I may not ever achieve the sheer Deebocity of this past summer, but I'll be what I am now. Which is, in addition to being guilty of a misdemeanor, super blissed out.