It's Like Sex On Vacation!

TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY!!! Holy shit! I know, but I felt compelled to share the following with you. A little backstory: I worked laaaaaaaate last night and was in eeeaaaaarrrrrrrrly this morning. Big meeting, wrangling bagels, powerpoint decks, sweet-talking A/V guys, etc... I am, in a word or two, flipping exhausted. And so, when I came across my Yahoo! horoscope for today, I couldn't help but be a bit awed.

"You're a problem solver on your least work-oriented days. Right now, you're work-oriented, to put it mildly. You're focused, like a laser beam. You're locked in a tough hold like a member of the wrestling team. You're going to tackle any and all problems, important and trivial, that come your way. There's no problem too intense, no problem too tiny, for your talents. By the end of the day you feel good. And you should! You've really flexed your problem-solving muscles!"

Now, that entire thing is pretty on point. I will feel good at the end of the day, because it will mean the day is OVER. And I have certainly busted through my share of obstacles yesterday and this morning. However, I see NOTHING in that horoscope about the fact that I deserve a BURGER for all my hard work and sleep-deprivation.

Perhaps it was a coding mistake, and the paragraph was accidentally cut off before I could read the last line, which I'm just guessing was, "Therefore! Treat yourself to a big, greasy burger tonight at P.J. Clarke's! After all, they are famous for their burgers and it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever that you would go there and have an effing turkey sandwich or lettuce wedge."

Alas, it's not there. Strange. Good thing I like lettuce wedges, even though the last one I had was kinda weird. It was good, but also oddly-sliced. The whole point of a lettuce wedge is to receive a wedge of lettuce - not a vertical slice or a sliver or a strand, but a wedge, defined by the venerable Dictionary.com as "thick at one edge and tapered to a thin edge at the other."

I hope this place does it right. I simply cannot abide oddly-sliced lettuce wedges.