The perils of working in an ergonomically correct office setting are few but severe. For example, it is virtually impossible to release gas without being found out in an ergonomically correct setting. This is due to the advent of the Aeron chair and it’s lumbar-friendly woven seat.

In other, less ergonomically correct settings, it’s almost an afterthought to dispense with your bodily humors in short, interspersed bursts (interspersed bursts!). Most “ergonomic” chairs, as defined by Staples or Office Depot, have upholstered seats. You can be confident that whatever does manage to find its way to your nasal passages can really only be detected by you, as much of the gases are absorbed into the chair. However, you must be careful about how much you release and when.

You should not release if you know someone is on his or her way to your desk, or if you will be walking away directly after. You should release when you are assured of relative privacy. The lunch hour is ideal, since most of your coworkers will not be around.

For those who recline upon Aeron chairs or the like, the gradual expulsion of surplus gastric air is quite tricky and damn near impossible. Ideally, you’ll want to time your releases for lavatory breaks, since anything else is decidedly risky. Do not be discouraged, however. It IS possible to do it, just be aware that NOTHING is absorbed by the Aeron chair except for lower lumbar strain.

You will have to release in near miniscule bursts, preferably when your cubicle mates or neighbors are not around. Once again, lunchtime is ideal. Letting go of hot, steamy bursts--while challenging (but surmountable) for an upholstered seat--is a no-no for those who rest upon woven Aeron chairs. It’s not worth the embarrassment, no matter how relieved you may feel afterward. You don’t want to be That Guy or Girl in the office; The One Who Farts.

Following these simple guidelines will vastly improved your day-to-day existence in today’s ergonomically correct office setting. Good Luck!