TwerpsWorld

Mom's Traditional Massive Christmas Tree. Every year we hear, "It's a lot bigger than it looked when I bought it."

Kristoffer sent this today: "hmmm, maybe a good opportunity to UPDATE, considering you're in the city brought to it's knees and...

Not only was I trying to balance a very pretty, glittery ornament on my head, but also trying to look as dorktastic as possible. As you can ...

My view from under the Birthday Balloon canopy. Everyone was jealous. They were also very amused about the crown of static I sported for the...

Yesterday I was sitting in a meeting when I saw this HUGE bouquet of balloons float by. AND THEY WERE FOR ME!!!!

This is me today! ON MY BIRTHDAY! The smile is lame and my nose looks HUGE, but it's my BIRTHDAY! WHOO!

This is me when I was born. I still have that nose. And I still stick out my tongue!

I know I've slacked off on the birthday tributes in the past few months. I owe several. Becca, Vic, Laura, Gina...it doesn't mean I ...

HOW AWESOME IS THIS??? SERIOUSLY!

Awesome, right? Seriously. That's my birthday up there under the boobs. It refers to an MSNBC doc on PORN. I can't decide what's...

Well, 46 days after my trusty mare went out to pasture, I've got me a brand-new, scratch-free filly to once again ride into the ground a...

It's beginning to look a lot like Consumermas! I have lots to say, but luckily for you all, I sent all of it in an email to the MFDC, so...

My First iPod. Gone but not forgotten.

I feel like Kirk when Spock died and they sent him off In that black dildo.

"Hello, thank you for calling Apple, this is Jaime. May I have your first name please?" "Danielle." "Ok, Danielle. ...

I just wanted to post something pretty. This is Vic and Laura's daughter, Annie. She's almost 9 weeks now, but this pic was taken at...

That's what I sounded like this week, as I consumed thousands of units of caffeine in order to push through some really long, incredibly...

I've been sort of in a funk lately. It's hard to pinpoint one specific reason; there really are so many. But it took a flip through ...

The Holiday Season is upon us and with it a complete disregard for common courtesy and the actual spirit of giving. Humans. They're such...

Last year I kind of cheaped out on my Thanksgiving post (which I will not link you to. It's right over there to your right in the Archiv...

This morning, as I was putting on my coat and scarf, I looked up at my hat sitting on my closet shelf and I thought, "Today's proba...

Ah, Winter. You cold, heartless bitch. You birthed me and you will be the death of me. It would seem that for 2005 the Season To Be Skipped ...

YUM! Rose-flavored petroleum jelly!

This coat...so lovely...it could be the only thing that could EVER replace Pink Coat.

I was permitted to pose for a photo with The MFDC.

Me, Meghan and The Sparkly Shirt.

Me and Butternoodle

OK. You have probably noticed by now that I have been avoiding this weblog like the plague. Why, you ask? Because I have a deep, deep fear t...

http://www.philaflava.com/blog/plugone.html Reggie, see? You must always listen to me! FUCKING AWESOME!

I fucking heart Wikipedia. No, really. If I had had access to this as a child, I could have saved my father a loooooot of time and energy (a...

It's been a long fucking time since I updated. It kind of slipped off my radar in the days leading up to my vacation. And then, during m...

Once, when I was in college and living with the lovely Sarah, we made a pilgrimmage to Newbury Comics on Newbury Street in Boston, as I did ...

Every day we rush through our lives, pushing through one thing to get to the next. There's nothing wrong with this. It's what we do....

This afternoon my older brother, Steve, who cannot decide on a Username here on this venerable (HA!) site, decided to log on to Yahoo! Messe...

The pornsibilities are endless...

I'm totally NOT slacking, no matter what the Muppet's trying to hypnotize you into believing. I'm actually working and shit. Sig...

Can you believe the Muppet ACTUALLY HAD THE NERVE to accuse me of posting erradically and "slacking on your blog." WTFingF? Has A...

I used to keep journals before I decided to share my Crazy with the world. Strangely, if someone were to delve into these journals without m...

Well, the advice did come pouring in, as well as suggested topics. I will now respond to everyone with painstaking thoroughness. See? I got ...

Weighing heavily on my mind these days is the lack of fresh material for this here website. Well, not really. I mean, I'm concerned, but...

This weekend I did a spectacularly dumb thing. Well, not really spectacular, I just liked the way "spectacularly dumb" sounded. Th...

During a conversation with my mother, in which we were discussing a somewhat clueless friend's actions: Mom: I think he was blinded by t...

Tonight, Mom drives stick She's blind; has ADHD Tonight, I might die

It's a TwerpsWorld Sing-Along! Ready? It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring Bumped his head And he went to bed And h...

Inexplicably (though something I would TOTALLY do), someone did a Google search for "IPOD SEX" and wound up here! AWESOME. TwerpsW...

It was a few degrees over 60 when I left the house this morning. Fall has arrived, but I'm still waiting for Summer's Last Bitchslap...

Everybody Give A Big TwerpsWorld Welcome To Vic And Laura's New Baby Girl! ANNIE GRACE 8lbs. 6 oz. 20.5" September 26, 2005 ...

But we'll just have to wait and see about that. I don't have too much to report (read: bitch about). This has been a pretty quiet we...

I'm very glad it's Friday. Not that I had a particularly trying week or anything. I could point you to 100 people more pressed than ...

I have always been a person with goals. I wouldn't say I'm goal-oriented, because I have a tendency to be really effin lazy. But you...

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