Reading Is Funtamental

Just had a prolonged visit from Martin the Mailroom Guy, who decided to chat with me while I was finishing my salad. He was telling me of his hopes and dreams. I made a comment about him retiring somewhere in Florida and he said, "Florida? Hellllll no, it's too hot down there." So then I said, "Where, then? Virginia?"

"What? No, New Jerseeeeeey." He said "New Jersey" the same way I say "coffee."

"I'm from New Jersey. What part do you want to retire to?" I'm thinking he's going to say Cape May or something equally picturesque and worthy of that blessed state known as Retirement. Instead he says, "Montclair."

Every weekend he goes to church there and he saw an apartment with a "sweet" kitchenette for $480. This is in comparison to the room he rents in the "ghetto" for $500. And, folks, he really does live in the ghetto. As he said, "When I go home at night, I'm a suspect."

I like Martin. He's a good guy. He wants better things for himself. If only it weren't for his meddling baby-mamas, who always have him in Family Court the minute they hear of him earning a little extra cash in his overtime. He's just trying to get his nut, like the rest of us.

Earlier, he was explaining to me why we run through a lot of Mailroom Guys here. Apparently the company who we subcontract will hire anyone who wants to work. While Martin and I admire this attribute, as Martin so eloquently put it, "Reading is fun-ta-mental."

Indeed.

Speaking of reading, National Geographic's June Issue, with "The New Face of KING TUT: His Life and Death," is currently available for your perusal. If that's not enough to sell you, "Chesapeake: Why Can't We Save the Bay?" is also in the same issue. What? IS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? Ok, then, National Geographic is always good for some fascinating tornado porn. This month's issue features pictures from inside AN ACTUAL TORNADO. And if that's not enough to pique your interest, then I just don't know who you are anymore.