The Story About The Porn

STFU! A phrase I heard repeated many times last night in a very short span.

The situation: My roommate comes home with her friend. Her friend is cute and keeps it real. She once told me my room color was drab and I was so thankful for her honesty. She's also hilarious, probably without intending to be.

So, they're hanging out, I'm reading the Voice in my room with my door open, not paying them much attention. And then Melica says, "Sorry, Danielle, are we offending you with all our raunchy sex talk?"

Heh. Heh heh heh.

"Do I strike you as a person who is offended by raunchy sex talk? I'm surprised you would ask me that, what with The Porn and all."

"What? What are you talking about?"

I run through the summary. Computers. Porn. Almost a year. Spanking. Etc... No, I was not in any of it, sadly. And then come the STFUs.

"Shut the fuck up!"
"Nope, really. For real. It happened, even though I mostly try to block it out. I thought I told you."
"Shut the fuck up!"
"Nope."
"SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP."

This sparks a rapid-fire round of questioning from Melica's friend.

"So, guys really like porn, huh?"
"Yes. Girls, too, sister."

"Do they really like to do it while watching?"
"Uh, it's a billion dollar industry, so I'm going with yes."

"Even really amateur stuff?"
"Yes."

"Even really nasty stuff?"
"Yes."

"Even double - ?" I cut her off. Don't even need to hear the rest.
"YES."

I take for granted that this is common knowledge. Or am I perpetuating a stereotype? Of course, I could be wrong, and please feel free to correct me, if so. But I don't think I am. I warned my young, inquisitive friend that everybody's different and likes their own thing, but for the most part, porn seems to be embraced - rather warmly and sweatily at that!

I recognize my past as a web-based porn worker bee is a good talking point. I'm pretty open about it. I generally answer all questions and I understand the novelty and the curiosity surrounding it. I would be just as curious, truth be told. I used to worry that people would judge me based on it, but I am much more comfortable with myself and my reasons for taking that job.

It was post-L.A. and post-9/11. I had been unemployed and barely able to get out of bed for months. I needed something - ANYTHING - to get my ass up and moving on from the life I had abruptly left behind. The lure of enhancing my computer skillz and working in Philly (and having healthy insurance) was too much to turn down. So, I did that for about ten months.

I categorized it. I wrote it. I stole it. I chopped it up. I categorized it again. I populated and added fake palm prints to its asses! (Can you imagine? For weeks, when we were building the spanking sites, I took as many photos of asses as I could find in our considerable library and burned reddish spank marks onto them in Photoshop. All in a day's work.) I took advantage of free HTML and Photoshop courses, though I'm not sure exactly how much I retained.

The best part about that job (you're thinking: Wait, the free porn wasn't the best part about that job? Let me tell you something, doing ANYTHING 40 hours a week, 4 weeks a month, 10 months in a row, and it will eventually lose its novelty. Unless you have an undeniable passion for it. Though I do enjoy it, I don't have an undeniable passion for it. I may or may not be lying right now.) was the people I met.

I grew close with a few cats in that joint and let me tell you, I'll love them forever. They're just some of the coolest, smartest, most talented individuals I have ever met and I am so happy they've all moved on and recovered from that experience, and are now doing better than ever.

It's so funny to think of all of us, roaming different parts of the globe, united by a common bond that happens to revolve around porn, of all things. In many ways it was a terrible experience, but one that I could not have made it through without these individuals.

Sadly, I'll still never look at traffic cones the same way again.