I Love Me Some Puppets

Ok, I should clarify a few things before I start this post:

1.) I don't know why, but I really like puppets. I've always been completely delighted by puppets, muppets (Muppie!), ventriloquists, marionettes, etc...It's just one of those quirks in my personality. If I don't see Avenue Q soon, I might die. I just worry that I'll die laughing in the theater, so that's holding me back.

b.) Not only do I like puppets, but I like puppetry that mimics human life.

III.) Not only do I like puppets and puppetry that mimics human life, but I have a very broad (read: lowbrow) sense of humor. I really get a kick out of puppetry which mimics baser aspects of human life. Essentially, I like dirty puppets. As far as I'm concerned, Crank Yankers is pure genius.

4.) I don't know why I am like this.

Now that I have that out of the way, I would just like to mention that Team America: World Police is FINALLY out on DVD. If you have not already seen this movie, then you are a damn fool.

I was reading the latest issue of RollingStone (I know, it sucks, but the Motley Crue article is good. I am disappointed in the cover, though. Orlando Bloom. The Man Who Was Legolas. How can he look so fly with long, flowing blond locks and pointy ears in LOTR, yet seem so much more...fey...on the cover of RollingStone as himself?) and they have a review of the DVD in it. Just reading it made me laugh all over again.

The night I saw Team America was about a week after it opened. It was disgusting and POURING RAIN here in NYC. I had a friend in from L.A. He was hanging out all day with An Actress who was in town finishing up a film. We made plans to go out that night and he called me and asked me if it would be OK if The Actress joined us. I said, sure, OK. But then I thought, Damn. I hope I don't lame out.

Of course, I totally lamed out. My cell phone died, he couldn't get a hold of me. I couldn't find the restaurant where they were. When I finally found it, I was soaked and a bedraggled mess and there is my friend and The Actress, looking ethereal and tiny and blonde. And gorgeous. I sat down. I apologized for being such a flake and we soon settled into good conversation about the usual stuff: Boys, Diets, In-Vitro Fertilization...you know.

We arrived at the movie late, so we couldn't all sit together. My friend and The Actress sat together and I sat across the aisle from them. This was a good thing, because I have never laughed so hard or so loud for so long in MY LIFE in a movie theater. And I do not have a tiny, giggly laugh. Oh no. What's the point of THAT? I laugh hard. To the point where I often need to be rescued by a little burst of Albuterol.

I can recall only a few movies that made me laugh that hard in the theater: Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (at the end of the movie when he's about to be steam-rolled) and Old School when Will Ferrell gets accidentally tagged with a tranquilizer dart. Oh man.

At one point, I was laughing so hard, and I knew I was so loud, but EVERYONE was dying. I looked over and saw my friend and The Actress losing their shit as well, and laughed even harder.

At the end of the night, we walked The Actress to her apartment. She turned around at the door and said, "America!" And we said, "FUCK YEAH!"

You have to see this movie.