Women Do Get Weary

Overheard outside my bedroom window just moments ago, accompanied by the sounds of a chase on foot:

A woman screams. "AAAAaaaoough!"

A man screams: "Get back here woman! Where the fuck are my kids? Huh? Where the fuck are my kids at?"

"AAAaaaooougggh!"

"Where the FUCK are my kids! You better get back here, bitch!"

"Aaaaooouggh!"

Ah, Brooklyn. Sometimes the love and community spirit overwhelm me.


So, today I was once again struck dumb by how ridiculously ingrained is my desire to please every frickin' person I encounter. It's a real problem. One of my most major malfunctions, I think! I will work myself to the bone in an effort to please someone else. I always worry if people are unhappy and, if so, am I the cause?

Case in point: You all know Martin, he's the Mailroom Guy who gives me all the dirt on the other mailroom guys. Martin likes a certain cookie that always seems to be in stock, since we have the "biscuit" accounts. Every time he sees me he either asks for, or simply takes, a dozen cookies at a time. I normally don't give a shit. But yesterday he acted all affronted and shit when I didn't have the cookies and was too busy to get them for him. He stopped me in the midst of some running around I was doing.

"You don't have my cookies."

"I just GAVE you cookies, dude!"

"I know, but they all gone."

"Martin, come on. I'm running low."

"What, you need a hug or something?"

And I thought, 'Oh my God! I'm being a total fucking bitch! It's so obvious! How could I be so rude! He always does my late packages for me!'

So I said, "You know where they are, on top of the cabinet."

Then today I ordered some office supplies. Martin delivered them to me. When he set them down, I turned around and saw him running FULL TILT around the corner. Of COURSE, I thought, 'He thinks I'm such a bitch that he's running away from me!' So, before I left work, I made sure to restock all the cookies.

On my way out, I stopped in the mailroom to drop some packages off.

"I restocked your cookies. They're in the Snowman cookie jar."

"I got nothing but love for you, girl!" he said appreciatively.

"Then why did you run away from my desk today?"

"Oh, we [he and another Mailroom Guy] were racing."

"Oh."

"Nothing but love!" he said again as I left.

"Nothing but love!" I repeated.

And as I was walking away, putting my headphones in, I thought...'Damn. This shit gets exhausting after awhile.'