I am about to motivate my ass for the trek to the So.J, but I must first write this fourth edition of WTF? Fridays for you, my little pets.
I worked this past Sunday, so when I came in on Monday, I wasn't exactly feeling rejuvenated and ready to attack the week. The morning started off crazy - so crazy, in fact, that I didn't even notice the temp wasn't in until he called me at 10:30 to call out sick. His excuse? "I'm still coming down from the stress of my concert yesterday. I need to sleep a little more."
WTF? AND wtf was I supposed to say to that? My processor was choked, so I gave him
"Well, maybe I can come in a little later, but for right now I really just need to sleep a little more."
"Temp, do what you have to do, dude. We'll manage."
Needless to say, I was crazed for the rest of the day. But WTF? REALLY.
Do you want to know about his concert? The temp is a baritone in a chorale. He had a solo. It was a one-time performance. Now, I'm not trying to denigrate his musical activities. It's the only thing I slightly respect about him...KIND OF. But bringing your little keyboard into work in order to memorize your part, reading sheet music while I'm buzzing like a worker bee all around you, leaving early for a voice lesson the day before a HUGE meeting, which results in me having to stay until 11 p.m. - ALL VERY UNACCEPTABLE.
I know a certain Kristoffer Carter who can work a full day, ROCK three hours straight fueled only by passion and beer, and then make it into work ON TIME the next day.
WTF? The temp will not be back on Tuesday.
The next WTF? moment is not one I experienced personally, but was related to me during an online conversation. My friend Kevin randomly dropped this bomb as I was excitedly relaying the key points of the Everwood Season Finale to him.
He had gone to a concert to see The Doves. Afterward, he was feeling in the mood for a snack, so he pulled up to the McDonald's drive-thru and was then told THEY WERE OUT OF CHEESEBURGERS!!!
WTFingF!??
That's like pulling up to a McDonald's drive-thru and being told they're out of CHEESEBURGERS! Holy shit! Have you ever heard of anything so unbelievably incredible? WTF?
Finally, a special feature for this fourth edition of WTF? Fridays. I may make it recurring. I'm going to call this the "THAT's what the fuck!" moment of the week.
The Muppet works with a tiny woman named Elizabeth. The other night, Elizabeth was walking along Central Park West heading toward 64th street. She noticed a young man sitting on the wall that borders Central Park. She noticed him noticing her.
When she crossed the street to turn onto 64th, he jumped out in front of her and said, "Gimme your iPod!" This tiny girl froze to the spot and, in the face of imminent danger, rather than handing over the iPod, summoned the strength of ten gorillas and had that fucking iPod on lockdown in her tiny hand. Her would-be iMugger attempted to take it from her forcefully, but he was no match for her determination to NOT GIVE UP THE iPOD. A man rounded the corner and shouted at them. Elizabeth screamed. The would-be iMugger shoved her to the ground and ran away, but not before Elizabeth told him what she thought of him.
THAT'S wtf, you fucker!
Elizabeth, you are my hero.
5 comments:
Whoa...whoa...back the truck up! Is this Cheeseburger shortage a national thing? This is major. Whendo they expect another shipment? Will this effect my Memorial Day plans???
WTF!!!
Bless you, Elizabeth. That cunt Mother Theresa may be canonized, but we know who the REAL iHero is.
As far as the "No Cheeseburger" situation, clearly there was a shift manager not paying close enough attention to their product flow. Running out staples like the Cheeseburger before closing is a big no-no. Would you like me to kill someone for you?
When does the iDeebo and iMFDC...and don't forget the mini iFer...go into production? It would be nice to travel and be able to hear some witty humor on the road without having to drive around looking to tap into a wireless hotspot.
They had an iRockDog in beta testing, but there were some issues with the device crashing when in the presence of Lesbian Pillow Fighters.
I have no clue what this has to do with a cheeseburger shortage or Elizabeth's iPod iMugger. I guess I just like to put "i" out there for iUse.
iRock ON!
RockDog
RockDog, putting the lower-case "i" before words is just a symptom of the early stages of a full on iPod/iTunes addiction. Don't fight it. It's glorious on the Other Side...
MFDC - YES. SOMEONE SHOULD PAY FOR SUCH A FATAL ERROR IN JUDGEMENT. I remember back in the day shuttling crates of buns or eggs when our stores would become LOW, but these were anticipatory actions. HOW could something like this happen??? I'm still shocked.
As un-f'ing-believable as the "No Cheeseburgers" story is, you should know that this franchise has a long and rich history of WTF moments A few months earlier Megan pulled up to the drive thru at 9:25 to get some McD's breakfast. Upon ordering, she was told they weren't serving breakfast anymore. She was all "WTF?? The sign says you serve until 9:30!" The worker calmly replies, "Yeah, well it's almost 9:30, so we stopped making breakfast."
(Insert sound of Megan's forehead hitting the steering wheel).
Up at the Golden Arches in the Sky, Ray Kroc is NOT happy...
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