I wish my wedding were tomorrow, mostly because I talked to the Caterer today and now I want some steak. YUM.
So, I'm getting into this planning thing. It helps that planning a wedding requires skillz that people actually pay me to utilize approximately 40 hours a week. It also helps that the Muppet is an uber-planner, has already been through this, and can reel me in when I start talking crazy about things like hiring fairies to play mini-guitars while floating in bubbles around my guests during our reception.
Fairies are expensive. Did you know they make overtime? Effing UNIONS! They ruin everything!
I don't really plan on boring you with too many details of the aforementioned forthcoming nuptials, hereafter referred to as: Operation Optimal Sparkles, or OOS. Mostly, I just want to throw a really good party where I am the center of attention while simultaneously at the peak of my beauty. That party must absolutely involve steak.
The planning is also a way for me to reign in some of the excess anxiety scorching through my veins right now. Knocking a few things of the massive To Do list and keeping my brain in a creative space has done wonders for my mood. Not to mention the benefits of actually getting off my chubby ass and exercising.
But see, that's the trickery of depression. It is perfectly capable of convincing you that look! See? It's not soooo baaaad, is it? You can handle this! Yes! Just stay caffeinated! Eat right and exercise! And all the while, it just sits in a corner of your hopeful soul, syphoning all the strength you gain on your Good Days, until one day it gives it all back to you in a bitch-slap hurricane and before you know it, you're back in the Clusterfuck Suck Tunnel with a 900-pound gorilla sitting on your chest. So, while it's a Good Day, I'm expecting the gorilla. Except his chances, I've noticed, are not as favorable as they once were.
He now has to contend with a Bridezilla.
RAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!
Heh heh.
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3 comments:
I love you. :*
We'll have a blast getting hitched.
It's the beginning of a lifetime of making me sandwiches. ;)
I heard you can hire fairies at a pretty resonable price if they're only expected to make sandwiches. :)
Am I small enough to be a fairy? I would cut you a deal! And I look great in wings....
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