Why It Pays To Make Nice With The IT Guys

When they're in their clubhouse discussing how the fuck to get your whiny, bitching self off their asses (after ten months of ceasele...

I got a raise. I'm getting a brand fucking new computer at work! FINALLY! iTunes added the Teddy Pendergrass catalog this w...

First, I just want to say that I worked until 11:30 last night and am in a shockingly good mood all things considered. This could be because...

The RockDog, circa 1987. OH. YEAH.

For most working stiffs, 6 p.m. marks the end of the day. Not for me! But as a concession to those of you who have the types of jobs that do...

Angel Rico's wet dream come true.

The best caption for this photo gets a prize! You have until the close of business. On your mark ... get set ... GO!

Long and tall.

1.) SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!!!!!! I had thought we were out of Sugar-Free Jell-o Chocolate Pudding. I was desolate and dreading having ...

Ever (Foreign Flag) iTunes Ever (Foreign Flag) Amazon

How many cherries Is "too many cherries"? No - Really. I need help.

The Muppet just called. "I have a W-T-F." "Ok, what is it?" "It's been several days since the last TwerpsWorld ...

That's what I'D like to know! If you see it around, let it know that I'd like to have a word or two with it. And that I'm fu...

My mother has this terrible habit of sending me really bad news to my work email address. This usually means that I read it at work and then...

REPRESENT!

Can you BELIEVE I didn't post yesterday? That's going in WTF? Friday, Volume VIII. I cannot believe it myself. But, you know, I was ...

Monolith.

-stressed about, fretted over, and worked on a 71 page deck under the impression we were on deadline. We were not. -received an email saying...

Current mood: Odd. Very, very odd. Waiting for it to play out. Should be interesting. Energy level: Looooow... Rest: About five ...

My brother Steve turns 31 today, which means that this year I will finally be old enough to vote. I'm so excited. Steve, Steve, Steve......

This is my Dad. He's handsome. See that door in the background? That door leads to the deck...and Smooth Jazz.

Some of you may have been wondering, "Hey, how come there's not a super tender post for all the daddies on TwerpsWorld?" The a...

So, I bought this new phone and it does fun things like take pictures, download MP3s, take mini-movies (without sound), connect to the World...

My mom and I just watched a really terrible Jennifer Aniston movie. Man, I just cannot feel sorry for her. I know everyone wants to paint he...

I'm not totally feeling WTF? Friday today, folks. That in and of itself deserves a WTF? I'm just way too...something. Low-key, I gue...

So, I'm not sure how many of you are aware of this, but I have another brother. He's younger by ten years and his name is Eric. He i...

Drinking a venti iced coffee and then getting on a bus for two hours, fully aware that you're Mass Transportation Bathroomaphobic.

What do you have to say about that, haterz? HA! I realized when planning this little extra-long weekend, that I have only taken one day off ...

That's Spanish for "It's fuckin' hot." I'm not feeling quite AS miserable about it as I was last night, though. I ...

I'm apparently VERY late on this show. But I don't care, it's AWESOME. I just watched Haddaway cover Britney Spears VERY VERY ba...

THE BEST NEW SHOW YET - Wanna hear Loverboy perform "Workin' for the Weekend?" FUCK YEAH! Wanna hear CeCe Penniston bust some ...

Old cellular phone - I won't miss your broke ass, but I'll miss my number! :-(

It's more like a suckage hangover from yesterday. I'm consistently busy, but the memory of yesterday's sheer volume of suckitude...

Today will not suck. Today will NOT suck. Today will not be sucktastic. Today will not fucking suck. Today will. not. suck. as hard. as yest...

Listening to Al Green's original "Simply Beautiful" recording and then listening to the one he did with Queen Latifah right af...

The RockDog is full of wisdom today. At his request, I am deviating from the usual schedule here at TwerpsWorld and bumping WTF? Fridays up ...

I'm not talking about the Toni Braxton masterpiece, either. I'm talking about torturous climate. Yesterday I attacked my apartment a...

I've not had too much alcohol in the past several weeks because of the whole "sugar-free" thing. At first, it was painful to t...

Ok, I've been caffeinated and fed, but the heat is counteracting the energizing effects of these efforts, so I will do the very best I c...

But one of you actually really IS the winner of The Luscious Challenge. I wanted to write this last night when the ideas were still fresh in...

How come it takes your former arch nemesis pulling you aside and telling you that you're "seriously talented" before you start...

"I just tried a Jedi mind trick on you." "I know, I felt a tickle in my light saber."

Firstly, because Meghan refuses to post comments on websites, even after big, huge tributes in her own honor, I present to you her entry int...

"I tried screwing it, it's not working." "Let me try." "Hold it steady." "It's not screwing!...

"Whatcha cookin'? Smells good!" "Chicken. Want some?" "No. I'm not sure what's going on with The Boy. H...

Email came back up around 4:30 p.m. for me, so I managed to cram about 8 hours of work into 2, which makes me wonder why I can't seem to...

Our email servers are down. I came in early to get a head start on some things, but no such luck. You would think that a company as large as...

I like words.* A lot. You might not be able to tell because of my run-on sentences, excessive swearing, sentence fragments, awkward syntax, ...

Today's stress and frustration levels are just about as high as yesterday's were. However, there is a critical element that prevents...

I have the iPod on shuffle and that Sly and the Family Stone song just came on. It IS hot. 91, but FEELS like 104. One hundred and four degr...

And by "sweat" I mean, "crush". I crush on haikus, this is no secret. I screwed up the one I wrote last night, but fixed...

It's 9000 degrees in my apartment. We have all doors and windows open for a cross-breeze, and when it's achieved, it's glorious....

Short boys who believe in slashes/smilies, but not decent punctuation/grammar: Hi sweetie Saw you on my space and think your a cutie.. :) I ...

1. It really sucks that My day should turn to such shit After GREAT coffee! 2. I'm trapped in a shitstorm so all-encompassing that I had...

I have a feeling nothing I write this week is going to have any substance whatsoever. Some people make very nice livings off of substance-fr...

That was said by the Muppet right before she spanked my ass by having a Rainman-quality round of Ms. Pacman. I held the high score for, oh, ...

Do you see what time it is? Look at the bottom where it says, "posted by..." I AM LEAVING WORK RIGHT NOW. AT THIS TIME! I am so ex...

This is a dangerous storm. If you are in its path, prepare immediately for large hail, damaging winds and deadly cloud to ground lightning. ...

...SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS EXPECTED IN THE AREA LATE THIS AFTERNOON AND TONIGHT... THE STORM PREDICTION CENTER IN NORMAN OKLAHOMA IS FORECASTIN...

The heat continues unabated. It's currently 82 but feels like 9 gajillion with the humidity (59% and the barometer is falling). I was ab...

Ugh. So, I'm in the office, trying to get caught up on the basic stuff that gets shuffled to the bottom of my foot-high To Do pile every...

Ok, so, I'm sure most of you are aware that the east coast has been experiencing a wet, cool Spring, since I've been bitching about ...

When I was younger, we had something in my household known as "Major Clean" days. These were also known as, "Mom Writes Up A ...

The New Girl fucked up So I'm working late. Again. Evaluation...

A few random things first, while I prime myself for my weekly frolic in my kiddie pool of vitriol. Bermando: hey there hawt mama MusicLvrDee...

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