Much Miscellany

1.) SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!!!!!!

I had thought we were out of Sugar-Free Jell-o Chocolate Pudding. I was desolate and dreading having to satisfy my chocolate craving with a Swiss Miss No Sugar Added Hot Chocolate. It would make me sweaty and I've had enough of that today, thank you.

So, I had also thought that my bananas had been stolen out of the fridge, but it turns out they'd merely been moved. Clearly, I've lost my faith in humanity, but there's an upside, I swear.

As I was rooting around under my desk for a napkin upon which to rest my bananas, I encountered a box shoved way back. When I peeked under my desk, I saw it. A sleeve of SUGAR-FREE JELL-O CHOCOLATE PUDDING. EIGHT WHOLE BOXES!

OH, YEAH!

I have no words to express how thrilled I am.

2.) In answer to my own question, posed in the Purple Fingers haiku, I have not yet suffered any consequences relating to the volume of cherries I consumed last night, this morning, and then again around noon. So, clearly, 1.68 lbs. of cherries is not Too Many Cherries. And half a pint of blueberries is not Too Many Blueberries, fyi.

3.) Bitchin' Haikus

4.) I used to have straight hair. Like, really straight. But as I've gotten older, it's gotten wavy, which now makes me susceptible to Random Attacks of Afro like many of my curly or wavy-haired sisters. I'm sorry I used to watch you searching frantically for a ponytail holder as your hair swelled to 9x its normal size right before my eyes and feel pity for you. What I should have felt was sympathy. Now all's I got is empathy and empathy of the frizzy-haired variety sucks.

Deva Curl, HERE I COME. You will know me by my afro and my MasterCard.

5.) So, a friend of a friend is moving to Hell-A, and tonight is her Going Away Thing. I was just gonna go from work, since dinner reservations are at 8:30 and we all know how much I love staying at work until well after the sun goes down. However, it was revealed to me that a supermodel will be present, so I have to now go all the way home and beautify. And by supermodel, I mean a real, actual supermodel. Like, the cover of Vogue and shit.

So, I must beautify, not because I feel the need to be impressive, but because it will do wonders for my confidence to feel moderately cute while in the presence of genetic perfection. We'll be eating pizza. I'm trying not to have a nervous breakdown.

6.) FOR GOD'S SAKE, SAVE TOBY!!!
His D-Day is fast approaching... I think PayPal closed the account, but write an email or something and maybe Satan will take pity on you in Hell and throw you an ice cube every 1000 years or something.