It's 9000 degrees in my apartment. We have all doors and windows open for a cross-breeze, and when it's achieved, it's glorious. But it's only glorious because right now Brooklyn is nesting uncomfortably in the Devil's groin.
I wanted to write a haiku about how fucking hot it is. This is what I came up with:
Dude. It's fuckin' hot
No, seriously. It's hot.
Like, HELL fucking HOT.
I do not anticipate a decent night's rest. I do not anticipate being functional tomorrow morning. I do not anticipate tomorrow being any better a day than today was, and today sucked donkey balls. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...
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6 comments:
Sorry Dee, but I gotta call you on your 4 syllable last line. Unless we're counting the comma...or making HOT into HO-OT (pronounced haa-aat)you have not met the 5-7-5 quota. Sorry girl, if you had answered when I called, I would not have had time to bust your eggs like this. OUCH!!! I kid. No, seriously...besides sublimedirectory.com...this is the only reason I log on. Take care. Shawn
Oh my God.
I have a few things to say about that:
1.)I'm sure you read it and wrote your response from your climate controlled house.
2.)I didn't answer your call because I was too busy taking the coldest shower imaginable. It hurt, but it did the trick.
3.)MOTHERFUCKING DAN CERTA! HOW DID YOU NOT CATCH THAT?!!? You are SUPPOSED to be on 24/7 Haiku patrol! I'd like to know what you were doing if you weren't, in fact, monitoring haikus across the Universe. I would really, really like to know.
You said donkey balls!
Yes, I did. And if I could have come up with an analogy that better expressed yesterday's complete suckitude, I would have.
I was in no mood to censor myself or waste energy thinking too hard.
Which is how I ended up fucking up the haiku.
I DID catch it, but-
a. You had such a shitastic day I didn't want to bring it up, and-
b. There was something very artistically GENUINE about the "broken" haiku in that it really represented the suckosity of your day. You know, like a modern artist making a bust of the Virgin Mary out of elephant shit.. wrong but beautiful!
That was VERY nice of you not to throw my ineptitude in my face after my day.
I very much appreciate that.
And thanks for finding the beauty in my broken haiku.
I keep waiting for you to fuck up, BUT YOU NEVER DO, DAMMIT.
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